I just can’t believe what I realized yesterday. It’s terrible. And finally I learn the pattern of toxic friendship.
It’s systematic, there’s a mechanism of it.
First, someone started to jealous of me.
Second, someone started to spread bad influence of me and/or inhibited my activity or progress.
I realized that it was hideous, it took more than a year to finally realize the pattern. I almost killed my self back then. It’s a risky sexual behaviour by the mean of despair.
I messaged her that what she did is wrong. The end, trust collapsed, and all of the good disappeared, then, um, I literally killed her in my mind.
So the intention of killing someone, she did it. She made it to live. (Heavy breathing). I thank myself for finally realize this.